I am not even sure where to start? I thought I might sum up why I created this blog. I was diagnosed with Stage three breast cancer on April 15th 2014. I remember the months leading up to this day and the moment I received the horrible news. What I struggle with is the months, and the year and a half after. It's like my mind could not retain memories like they had before. Maybe to get through it all my mind and memory turned itself off in order to make it through the fight.

Now to back up a bit. This wasn't my first rodeo. I had ALL Leukemia and a bone marrow transplant when I was 16. I was diagnosed with leukemia on February 8th 1999. Had a bone marrow transplant on June 4th 1999. It seems even through that battle my mind blocked certain things out. Only to start remembering things from time to time. Sometimes I think I had a little PTSD.

 Since I was diagnosed with breast cancer, it's as if my feelings and thoughts from leukemia have come to the surface. More like every trial I have endured has come out in the way of tears, anger, heart ache and yes fear! It's as if I can relate everything that has gone wrong for me, since 1999, to my first diagnosis with cancer. This will all make since as I get deeper into my posts.

This blog is for myself. To help me with my internal struggle. To help me heal. To learn and understand what Gods plan is for me and what he wants me to learn. My social worker, who I love, told me to write it out. That is what I am going to do.